I'll admit it...I've never led anyone to the Lord

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I have never led anyone to the Lord. I know so many wonderful Christians who have helped others say the sinner's prayer and have helped transform lives. Yes, I've provided people with Bibles, prayers, and spiritual guidance, but I've never, to my knowledge, been the cause of someone making a decision for Christ. This grieves my heart. I work in a Christian bookstore and often pray before work that God will bring someone to me who is ripe for the Kingdom...ready to make that decision and follow Christ. I often pray that God will use me as I grocery shop, take my kids to school, or run simple errands, so that I can help further the Kingdom. I know in my heart that I have blessed people and shown Christ's love to them, but my desire is to help change a life, soften a heart, and win a lost soul for God.

Now, obviously I know that it is the Holy Spirit that draws people to seek the Lord, convict them of sin, and fill them with the love and knowledge of Christ. However, I do believe that I can play a bigger part in this process than I am playing. I must ask myself...am I available to be used? What areas of my life am I holding back that might disqualify me from being usable? The answers come easily when I ask myself these questions. I am filled with the fear of being rejected, embarrassed, and offensive to people. All around me I see people who do not know the Lord, yet I do virtually nothing to lead them to Him. Yes, I am kind to them, and I do speak of my beliefs and church activities, etc. But, I rarely outright witness to people. There are people that I greatly enjoy engaging in spiritual discussions with, but they are already Christians, and even though some of them are struggling in their walk with Him, I somehow don't count the edification I try to provide them simply because I did not lead them to the actual point of decision. I know I am becoming too legalistic on this issue, but nevertheless, it is the way I often feel.

So, I will keep perservering, praying, and seeking the Lord regarding this desire in my heart. I know that I must be teachable and tender-hearted towards the pruning and instructing that God may want to do in me before I can truly live a life of boldness for Him. I am ready, willing, and able to be used and I often pray for God not to pass up a willing heart. As Family Force 5 sings in their song "Replace Me", "crush me, tear me, break me, mold me...make me what You want me to be...I am Yours, for You to use, so take and replace me with You."

Amen and amen!