Homework Assignment: Buy Family Force 5's new CD!!!

Ok, here's your assignment...find your nearest music store and buy Family Force 5's new CD called Dance or Die. I'm serious...buy it now! Listen to every song and dance your heart out...I'll wait...

Ok, now don't you feel better? Good; so do I!

I confess that I have been in a severe state of depression since a certain day last week. I have been extremely troubled and terrified for our nation, and for our kids. I won't get into all that now, as I have another blog for that (just click on my computer profile to find it), but I have been struggling with how to move on in the midst of my sadness and fear.

Well, last night, I turned on my IPOD and listened to Family Force 5 for literally hours. For those of you who are not familiar with this band, they are a Christian rock/funk band (their music is actually hard to describe because it covers so many different genres) and they are the most fun band I've ever heard or seen. I saw them in concert recently and their energy blew me away! As I was listening to their music, I could not help but dance, and dance hard! I'm talking head-banging, throwing-bones-out-of-joint hard. I also cleaned half the house at the same time. They reminded me that life is good and God is awesome. And besides enjoying the respite from the darkness I was in, as I was dancing and worshipping God, a fight began to rise up within me. As Family Force 5 says (or shouts!) in their song "Radiator", "We are the chosen nation!!", and who am I to cower in fear? We are more than conquerers and the gates of hell will not prevail against the Church! Things are going to get very rough in this country over the next few years, but we must pray and take authority over the power of the enemy. Jesus said we are the salt of the earth...we are the preservative, or more precisely, the Holy Spirit in us, and we have the ability to hold back many of the plans set against our nation. So, let's join in prayer, worship our God, and see this country whole, restored, and blessed.

So, don't forget today to stir up the gifts that are in you, worship God from your heart, and trust Him to protect His Church during this time of upheavel.

AND don't forget to buy Family Force 5...especially if you are still young at heart. If not, your kids will love it!!

God is Faithful!

Over the last few years, I have had many dreams that have spoke to my heart and I feel were given to me by God. I would like to post one here just to demonstrate how very real and faithful our God is.

In the early fall of 2007, I had a short dream where I was standing outside a convenience store. There was a man dressed from head to toe in all black (a robber) and he looked at me and shot an arrow right at my ear. As I braced for the impact, I realized when the arrow hit, that it didn't hurt at all and actually made my ear to hear better.

At the time of this dream, I had no idea the significance of it. I tried to determine it's meaning, but really couldn't, although I was certain it was from God. Most of my dreams just fade away without me really giving them much thought, but this one really stuck with me and I knew I was supposed to pay attention to it. I always kept it at the back of my mind after that, waiting for the interpretation to be revealed.

A couple of months later, I had a phone call late in the night. It was someone who asked for me and asked if I was still involved in education. I lied and told him I didn't know what he was talking about and hung up. The reason I said that was because 4 years earlier, I had received a very bad, sexually harrassing phone call from a former student of mine and I was concerned that maybe this was the same person. The next morning after this phone call where he asked me if I was in education, I found out that it was merely a telemarketer, but I believe that this phone call was meant as a warning to me, just as the dream above was.

I say this because 6 days after that weird late night call, the sexually harrassing former student of mine called back again. This was 4 years after his first call. But, since I had just had this other call that had worried me, I almost expected it and was prepared for this one and I knew just how to handle it when it came. I immediately began preaching at him, that he needed Jesus and he needed to find a church and he needed to leave me alone!

Well, needless to say, for the next week, I was a basketcase for a while...living in fear and letting the devil win. Then, the Lord reminded me of that dream with the robber and the arrow. He told me that he had given me that dream to prepare me for what was to come. The man dressed in all black was a robber (the devil, who is a "theif") and the arrow shot at my ear represented an attack that was going to come to my ear (through the telephone), but that if I would allow it to, this attack would not hurt me, but would actually help me to hear better! So, this comforted me greatly and I began to study the scriptures and grow in my prayer life, asking for protection and safety, and spiritual growth, and ears to hear His voice with greater clarity. If this attack in my ear had to come, then I wanted to learn from it.

However, I still had some fear as the days went on and I still found myself looking over my shoulder everywhere I went. One night, as I laid in bed, dealing with my fear, I cried out, "God, I cannot handle this fear any longer. Can you somehow, in some way, sometime soon, show me that You aren't going to let this man ever hurt me or my family or even come near me or contact me again?" I needed the reassurance of my Father that everything would be alright. A few minutes later, I rolled over and began praying about another unrelated issue, and after a few minutes, I realized that I was singing a song in my head. There was no reason why this song would have popped into my head and I had not heard it in years. Here were the lyrics that I heard:

From the song, "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5

I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you,
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength,
I'll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me,
I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you,
with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there

And you know what? After that, I never worried about it again. I changed my phone number and still pray about the situation from time to time, but never with any fear in my heart. I know my Father is protecting me with his angels and with His Holy Spirit. God is faithful and I am in good hands!

I'm Back After a Long Hiatus!

Wow! Has it been a long time since I have written here! Forgive me!

I have progressed much, spiritually, over the last couple of months. During this past election cycle, I have never prayed, fasted, interceded, or cried out to God so much in my life. My relationship with my Father has deepened tremendously and I learned how to incorporate a vibrant prayer life and worship time into my daily routine. I also learned how to stand in faith for something I could not see. Even though I did not get the results I was hoping for, I believe that the process itself of praying and believing and not giving up when faced with a mountain, provided me a valuable opportunity to exercise my faith muscle. In the past, whenever I stood in faith for a prayer request, I would usually give up when it seemed hopeless. I did not do that this time, and for that, I am thankful. If nothing else, I believe my faithful prayers pleased God and earned me some rewards in heaven.

Now, have I "arrived"? Absolutely not. What I, more often than not, found myself doing was neglecting my family or duties at home far too much in order to lock myself in my prayer closet and seek God's face. While my intentions were good, I should have been able to find a way to have a strong relationship with God and still fulfill my obligations at home. I am still struggling with this. I am often on one end of the spectrum or the other: either I am so heavenly-minded that I am no earthly good, or I am so earthly-minded that I am no heavenly good. So, I am going to have to find a way to balance my spiritual life and my home life. I would love to find a way to incorporate the two, but, unfortunately, my husband and I have not yet grown comfortable in praying or worshipping together. It seems that we would rather be more private when it comes to these things, which is a shame, really. In time, I hope that will change.

I'd love to hear any ideas on how to live a more balanced spiritual life. Tell me how you do it. Enlighten me!

I'll admit it...I've never led anyone to the Lord

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I have never led anyone to the Lord. I know so many wonderful Christians who have helped others say the sinner's prayer and have helped transform lives. Yes, I've provided people with Bibles, prayers, and spiritual guidance, but I've never, to my knowledge, been the cause of someone making a decision for Christ. This grieves my heart. I work in a Christian bookstore and often pray before work that God will bring someone to me who is ripe for the Kingdom...ready to make that decision and follow Christ. I often pray that God will use me as I grocery shop, take my kids to school, or run simple errands, so that I can help further the Kingdom. I know in my heart that I have blessed people and shown Christ's love to them, but my desire is to help change a life, soften a heart, and win a lost soul for God.

Now, obviously I know that it is the Holy Spirit that draws people to seek the Lord, convict them of sin, and fill them with the love and knowledge of Christ. However, I do believe that I can play a bigger part in this process than I am playing. I must ask myself...am I available to be used? What areas of my life am I holding back that might disqualify me from being usable? The answers come easily when I ask myself these questions. I am filled with the fear of being rejected, embarrassed, and offensive to people. All around me I see people who do not know the Lord, yet I do virtually nothing to lead them to Him. Yes, I am kind to them, and I do speak of my beliefs and church activities, etc. But, I rarely outright witness to people. There are people that I greatly enjoy engaging in spiritual discussions with, but they are already Christians, and even though some of them are struggling in their walk with Him, I somehow don't count the edification I try to provide them simply because I did not lead them to the actual point of decision. I know I am becoming too legalistic on this issue, but nevertheless, it is the way I often feel.

So, I will keep perservering, praying, and seeking the Lord regarding this desire in my heart. I know that I must be teachable and tender-hearted towards the pruning and instructing that God may want to do in me before I can truly live a life of boldness for Him. I am ready, willing, and able to be used and I often pray for God not to pass up a willing heart. As Family Force 5 sings in their song "Replace Me", "crush me, tear me, break me, mold me...make me what You want me to be...I am Yours, for You to use, so take and replace me with You."

Amen and amen!

“THE DOOR IS OPEN”

Here, again, is an article that I wrote several years ago. I hope that it blesses and inspires you in some way!

“THE DOOR IS OPEN”

Several months ago, I had an incident with my oldest daughter, Taylor. We had been spending some family time in our basement, watching a movie together, when Taylor asked me if she could have yet another cookie. I told her “no” because she had had too many already. She then broke out into one of her, what I call, “meltdown tantrums”, where she first would begin by begging me with words like “PLEEEAAASSSEE!!”, and, “I’ll do anything for one more cookie”. Then, when she could see that I would not back down, the meltdown took on full force. She began screaming and crying and just would not calm down. I decided that I had heard enough and went upstairs into the kitchen, while she remained at the base of the stairs. As I stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at her acting ridiculously, I kept telling her that as soon as she calmed down and stopped crying, she could come upstairs.

Unfortunately, she just could not seem to calm down…she kept crying and crying and begging me to let her come upstairs. She kept saying, “Let me up, Mommy! Don’t keep me down here!” And I kept saying, “The door is open!! All you have to do is stop crying and come upstairs!” Then, again, she would cry, “Let me up!! I want to come upstairs!!” and I would then say, “You can come up any time you want…just stop crying! Look and see that the door is open! It is up to you to calm down and walk up the stairs yourself. I am not the one keeping you down there! You are doing this to yourself!!”

This went on for a few more minutes, so I decided to sit down at the kitchen table. As I was sitting there, wondering why my daughter was acting this way, the Holy Spirit showed up big time! He used this situation as an incredible opportunity to teach me a valuable spiritual lesson. He told me, “You know the way that you are feeling right now? Well, that’s the way that I feel every time one of my children cries out for me to do something for them that I’ve already done. Every time my children are too busy crying and living in fear about their situation, they cannot see clearly that the door is already open….the battle has already been won. All they have to do is calm down, take their eyes off the problem and put their eyes back on me. Then they will truly see that, in Me, they have the ability to rise up out of their basements and walk up the stairs and out the door.”

Well, this hit me like a ton of bricks! At the time, I had been wallowing in depression, allowing myself to get stressed out about things that really were not worth my time. At different times in my life I have had the tendency to live in negativity, focusing mostly on the problem, not the Problem-Solver. But, since this experience, whenever I feel myself slip back into those moods, and I still do slip back into them at times, I am always reminded that “the door is open”, and that I have vastly more powerful spiritual weapons than anything the devil can throw at me! I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Hallelujah!

So, take a moment to look at your life…what are your basements? What are your doors that are already open? What are the circumstances in your life that you know you can conquer through the blood of Jesus and the sword of the Spirit? I encourage you today to rise up, climb those stairs, walk through that open door and draw a line in the sand. Refuse to allow the enemy to keep you in bondage of any kind…you are kings and priests to God. You are victorious!!

God’s blessings and power to you all,

Pam

The Marigold in the Rose Bush

I wrote this article a few years ago and I think I would do well to remember this experience and insight that God shared with me. I hope it blesses you in some way!

The Marigold in the Rose Bush

For some time now, I have been struggling with the issue of my own personal faith--the ability to see what I cannot see. While, of course, I never doubt my faith in God's existence or in the sacrifice of His Son, I often find myself wondering just how involved He is in my life, making it difficult for me to understand the exceeding greatness of His power. I, like many Christians, know the promises and provisions outlined in the Bible, but I often cannot even fathom the supernatural things of God. Consequently, I have been praying persistently for the Lord to open my eyes and help me to believe for things I cannot understand or see. Each day I have been praying for God to help me know Him so intimately that He becomes more real to me than anything else I can perceive with my own physical senses. Thankfully, my merciful Savior is answering these prayers.

Recently, I was blessed with a little kiss from heaven. In our front yard, there are 3 rosebushes growing in our landscaping, and about 4 feet away from them, on the other side of our sidewalk in front of our house, I had planted some marigolds just 12 days earlier than the event I am about to describe. Since they are annuals, I have to plant them every spring. One Saturday morning in June, I was returning home from picking my daughters up from a friend’s house, when I noticed something very peculiar and remarkable. I saw that there was a single orange marigold, growing in and amongst one of my rosebushes! I went up to it and inspected the situation. This marigold was firmly planted, roots and all, in the ground along with my roses. Since my other marigolds were planted 4 feet away, and with a sidewalk separating them from the rosebushes, there is no earthly way that this little flower could have gotten there. I know of no person who would have done this, and certainly this could not be the work of an animal. I even did some research on marigolds, how they grow, etc., and came to the realization that this flower was planted supernaturally. It was so interesting that even my daughter noticed it and told Daddy how “cool” it was that there was an orange flower growing in our rosebush. Even though I realized the supernatural nature of this event, I decided to pull out my little marigold and re-plant it along with its brothers on the other side of my sidewalk.

This seemingly tiny and meaningless happening has caused a great search for answers in my soul. I think about it frequently and pray for God’s wisdom and purpose to be revealed in it. I knew right away that God was communicating with me and I was determined, and still am, to discover the full intent of this expression of heavenly gardening. I believe that the meaning of this gesture has many levels, including that it is a sign of God’s incredible love and power, and that He does indeed hear and answer prayer. It is also a beautiful example of God’s willingness and ability to transcend the laws of nature to fulfill His ultimate purposes. What would have seemed impossible to have happened in the natural realm was a piece of cake for God to do! How silly we are to ever doubt His ability or desire to answer the cries of our hearts!

But, upon further prayer, I also believe that there is another lesson that I am to learn from my Master Gardener. I keep coming back to the significance of the thorns on my rosebush and I began to study Jesus’ Parable of the Sower, found in Mark 4:1-20. The marigold could have been planted in any of the other bushes that we have in our landscaping, but God specifically chose the rosebush, and I wanted to find out why. I especially focused on these words:

“’And some seed fell among thorns; and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no crop….Now these are the ones sown among thorns; they are the ones who hear the word, and the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.’” Mark 4: 7, 18-19.

As I read through and studied these scriptures, deep conviction set in my spirit that this miraculous occurrence was a modern-day Parable of the Sower lesson, complete with a supernatural visual aid!! For so long I have been crying out to God about why I, and so many other Christians like me, seem so powerless and spiritually weak, in a world where we are supposed to be more than conquerors, dominating the world for Christ. Why do I allow the devil to make inroads into my life and into the lives of my loved ones? Why does it seem so hard to see the Word at work in my life? Why is it often so very difficult for me to witness or share my faith with people who I fear will be offended? And my most often-asked questions: Why does God often seem so distant and more like theory than a loving and involved Father? If Jesus said that “My sheep hear My voice…” John 10:27, then shouldn’t I be able to know Him experientially?? Shouldn’t my relationship with Him be filled with 2-way communication? Of course it should, and I believe that God’s great desire is for us to know Him in a way that is more than theology or dutifully memorized scriptures. In many ways, I knew the Word, but I didn’t KNOW the Word. I could quote various scriptures that I had memorized, but an active, daily study of the Bible, I rarely engaged in. There is a great difference between reading it as a book and absorbing it as Living Water, and I was doing much more of the former, I’m afraid. In addition to my lack of real internalization of the Word, I have also been sadly lacking in terms of my fellowship with my Father. God often comes last in my day, after all the kids are put to bed, the dishes are done, and my TV shows are watched. I often take His love for granted, and the grief that this has caused Him I cannot even imagine.

I pray that this testimony also causes you to reflect upon your own priorities in life. Is the Word, or your relationship with God, choked by the cares of this world? Are you really taking the time to show Him with your actions what is in your heart? It is a much easier thing to take God’s love for granted, and a far harder task to take the narrow road less traveled by, but the rewards will be endless. As I reflect upon the reality that God heard my prayers, saw my tears, and supernaturally planted a marigold amongst my thorny rosebush, I am filled with indescribable wonder, awe, and conviction. I have always thought that I loved God with my whole heart, soul, and mind; however, I have now been forced to recognize that my actions and daily life do not reflect the primacy of this priority. It’s as if I have been shown a mirror into my soul and into my true heart, and mercifully, I am experiencing His unsurpassing love and forgiveness at the same time. And although I know that I am not where I should be at in my spiritual walk, for the first time in a long time, I know that I am at least walking! And the more I continue to put one foot in front of the other, the closer to my Lord and Savior I will grow. My faith in His love, faithfulness, and power have increased exponentially, as has a deep desire within me to truly make Him Lord of my life.

All thanks to a little flower in a rosebush.

"...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." 2 Corinthians 3:17

Greetings to all,

Welcome to my new blog! Being as computer-illiterate as I am, this is a huge step for me! This is the first time I have ever created a blog, let alone posted on one, so please go easy on me!

My name is Pam and I created this blog out of spiritual frustration. I was raised in a Christian home and was saved at an early age, yet for many years now I have found myself desiring a more intimate, obedient, and powerful walk with God. I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts, cares, and concerns, as I struggle to live a life of purpose for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The flesh will always war against the Spirit, but as the Bible says, "...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty" 2 Corinthians 3:17. This was a favorite Bible verse utilized often by my deceased father, and I think it is an important one to keep deep in our hearts.

It is my hope that writing and interacting on this blog will provide a cathartic reaction within me that will help move me from my place of spiritual stagnation, and the general feeling of being "stuck", to a place of greater obedience, inner strength, and spirit-filled living. More importantly, however, I pray that this blog will in some way be an encouragement to those who read it, and an inspiration to people to actively seek out their God-given purpose for this gift of life we've all been given.

I also intend to use this blog to share any insights, dreams, visions, experiences, praise reports, etc. that the Lord has or will share with me, and I would love to hear your testimonies as well. We serve the God of the impossible: El Shaddai...the God of more than enough!

Thank you for visiting this blog and God bless!

In Christ's love,

Pam